I've put this off for the longest time as I was distracted by a million things that was happening in life (still happening). But okay the truth is the part of me that excels in overthinking was deliberately putting this off.
What if I offend someone? (Well according to my bro, "everyone is offended by everything nowadays". Lol)
What if I am sharing too much? What if people judge my terrible writing? What if... Damn.
Thank goodness I snapped out of those stupid thoughts when I remembered why I wanted to write. The point was to care less, yet care more at the same time. Yes, care less and care more. Care less about people who don't matter, and care more about the people who matter, including myself. So..let me get started with this:"You're too sensitive." Let's call this Shit okay (for simplicity sake). How many of you have heard these Shit said to your face more than once?
I have personally heard it far too many times. And I have unknowingly said it to people before too.
Anyhow, my point is we say "You're too sensitive" more than we should. We say this Shit without realising the impact it has on people.
The first time it hit me that "You're too sensitive" was Shit was when I was at the receiving end and I was in a bad place emotionally. When I heard this Shit coming from somebody I care about, and I know she cares for me too, it was more painful than I thought it should be. It felt like the person was being dismissive and had no regards for my feelings. Mind you, I am someone who cares a lot about intentions and I truly believe that people who care for me deeply would never have bad intentions for me. Till today, I still believe that the person has good intentions for me. Yet thinking back to the Shit moment, it was terrible.
I have always known that I am a very sensitive person. But being sensitive does not equate to awareness. I have probably used the Shit several times before realising how shitty it can be for the receiver. And ever since the realisation, I have stopped saying that in 99.9% of the situations. And when situation truly calls for it, a gentle "Do you think you might be too sensitive" feels like a better choice than the Shit.
Sometimes we say things faster than we process it. Which is why it is so important to be aware of how easily we can hurt the people we care about. Maybe it is because it makes you feel uncomfortable to listen to something intense and raw. Maybe there is a slight feeling of anxiousness when you don't know what to say after listening. Maybe your subconsciousness is dying to get you out of the situation that saying the Shit seems like the best getaway car...
Even though it seems harmless from your point of view, saying the Shit can feel like you are being apathetic.
Of course, I am aware that we can only control how we feel and not what people say. But if we truly care for someone, I think the most basic thing we can do is to acknowledge their feelings even if we disagree or do not feel the same. Pick the right words, nod your head, anything that lets the person know you are listening/listened...
The world is such a bitch already. If we can try to make this world a better place by simply being more aware of the things we say, we should, right?
I'm gonna end off with one of my favourite quotes which I have framed up on my bedroom wall years ago as a reminder to be less of an ass and listen more. When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.
- Louis C.K.